No, but really.
So grateful for the rad cats (and pups and peeps) in my life.
You’re outta this world.
I started writing about anger.
Earlier today I got angry.
The fire in my belly angry at the fact that I’m even angry kind of angry.
Sometimes I get angry, I wish I didn’t, I wish I could be one of those perfectly zen yogis who just breathes out negativity and breathes in peace, a window, easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl, but I’m not. I’m just a regular girl, and sometimes, even as I strive for peace and balance, sometimes I get tripped up, and sometimes I get angry.
Someone advised me to own my anger. To feel it. Fully.
And then to release it.
I was still working on the feeling it part, dreading the releasing, because I’m bad at letting go, even of anger.
But then I got a phone call from someone I haven’t talked to in far too long who told me something so happy I barely even noticed as the anger just melted away.
The fire that had been burning through my hands as I clung to it just disappeared into smoke as the enormity of my smile spread from my face out to the ends of my hair and down to the tips of my toes.
I am so grateful for the amazing people in my life. People who remind me that the things and people who make me angry aren’t even worth the calories spent on typing out the letters; a n g r y. People who remind me that there is so much more, that life is beautiful, and that love is real. So incredibly grateful.
Ink paintings by Katherine Smith-Schad.
This weekend was beautiful. I am tired. My throat is sore. I am overwhelmed with the length of my to-do list and feel the weight of it all as I sit, slumped, in front of my computer. But even as my fingers type out these words, I feel my spine straighten behind me, and I feel confidence in my own strength. I rub my eyes, and I see, through the smoke of all our muckings, that humanity is beautiful. And I feel the warm glow of gratitude well in my chest for the amazing people I’ve been fortunate enough to encounter in my life; those who have been, and will be for years, and those who step briefly, in, and out, like a new dance move I don’t quite understand.
Everyone deserves to feel loved. Sometimes I struggle because it’s hard to ever feel like I’ve been able to appropriately express my love for all of the amazing people in my life. But I just have to trust that the people who know me, know my heart, and know that it glows because of all of you.