ok, we all know i love cheesy shit. we know this. and of course, at first glimpse, i love this little quote. “oh yes, love, connection, so fun!” i think immediately.
but here’s why i don’t love it. kind of am annoyed by it, and i think adriane hints at this…
why the fuck’s it got to be only one person? why can’t i share different kinds of love with different people? i love my friends too.
people can understand the difference between family love and romantic love…and yet there’s this permeating idea of this one “soulmate” what the fuck is that?
i mean i’ve been in love. i. have. felt. that. shit. and let me tell you, that is a good fucking drug and i’m addicted. but that doesn’t mean that that has to be my one and only soulmate.
what about sunshine?
or anyone who i haven’t even met or had the chance to fall in love with yet?
why does it have to be one and only? my soul is rainbow and has some edges that curve and some that are sharp and it sinks and flies and dances in the wind. my soul is not static, and i haven’t even discovered all of it, so how can i expect one person, one other person, to exactly perfectly match all of those facets? why can’t different people fit different parts of me?
and why can’t i sometimes let go? why can’t i throw up my arms and not hang on and just trust? just trust that my love is known. just trust that i will not fall into an open abyss. just trust in the strength of my soul’s wings?
i have loved. i will love. i do love. i am love.
it doesn’t have to be anything we don’t want it to <3 we’ll just change it to people, love. throughout life you will meet people who are unlike most the others. you can talk with them for hours and never get bored. you can tell them things without judgment. these people are your soulmates, your best friends. appreciate, support, understand and love them. keep them for however long they wish to stay.
so what about sunshine? what about pine trees? what about strangers becoming friends becoming becoming lovers and fighters of and for each other?
i almost started this with, “im sorry for the reblog of myself and then jenny and the sappy gushy stuff” but then i realzed i would be lying. because i’m not sorry for the reblog of myself and jenny and all the sappy gushy stuff. because we all know i love cheesy shit. but not because it’s cheesy. or shit. i love it because i love love. and humans. i absolutely fucking love loving humans. and this human. this jenny. this pretty as a peacock inside and out. this goofy wandering giraffe. this woman who is wise beyond her years and naive but learning and willing to admit her own exploration as far too many people are afraid or unwilling to. this sunshine.
she is all of the warm wonderful chest expanding heart swelling breath giving good things. and i just wanted to say that. and to share that. and to appreciate that.
and to appreciate each of you. really.
this tumblr thing is weird sometimes. i mean it’s the internets.
but it’s also our hearts and souls and art and inspiration and fears and insecurities and semi-anonymous unless we feel safe enough to share more. it’s the little things that maybe only we find funny. it’s our quirks and habits. it’s our confessions and aspirations. it’s our footprint in the sand.
and to those of you who’ve i’ve reached out and touched. for those of you who’ve said hi. who’ve written words and shared thoughts and laughed with me. mailed silly postcards. visited in person. to all of you.
this is for you too. because i really love all that cheesy shit, and i’m not sorry.
(note: it cut off my tags…if you got cut off, please know you’re there, in my hearty heart and i’m hearting you. you know who you are. <3)